People leaders at any level of an organisation struggle with giving improvement feedback and managing emotional reactions. ‘Get in. Get out. Shut up. With love.’ is a simple direct method to teach leaders the real basics.

  • ‘Get in’ – leaders need to be direct, speak to the problem and be specific and factual with examples.
  • ‘Get out’ – leaders need to be succinct and  seek a response immediately; listening to explore the performance gap.
  • ‘Shut up’ – nervousness can show up as speaking too much and filling ‘white space’. Use questions to explore reasons, options and gain commitment.
  • ‘With love’ – ensure your approach is respectful, neutral and empathetic.

Remain in your adult and assertive throughout the courageous conversation managing reaction through questions and paraphrasing.


After just two half-day sessions, business leaders across Foodstuffs have the skills and tools for giving effective feedback and courageous conversations that drive performance.

Check out the High Performance Conversations Training (including Courageous Conversations) case study for more in-depth results and contact me to discuss your business needs.